Here is the permission to explore, read, open the door, ask questions, figure it out, in relation to your mormon doubts and questions. Sitting on the fence is no fun.
Back in 2005 I received a call from my best friend. She was in a panic. She was telling me, “Amy, you were right.”
Now, I have to tell you, I had only my feeling to be right about, at that time. Nothing to back it up with yet. I had doubts for years that something wasn’t quite right about my church. Something was off. I couldn’t put my finger on it tho.
I had shared with her, that I had doubts, years earlier when she was just as active in the church as me. I will never forget that day. She shared with me books to read, websites to check out, etc. I was way to scared to start reading up on the church because I had always been taught to stay away from “anti Mormon literature.” (heads up AML is just the actual history of the church).
Anyway, I decided that day, then and there that I was going to walk through the door, no matter where it was going to take me.
Some people walk through that door and leave the church, others stay. For me, I was out. That is really simplifying my exit story, but, in the end, I chose to leave it.
You may come to a different conclusion. That’s okay too. But there is nothing worse that doubting for years, feeling something is off.
You are old enough and you owe it to yourself to study it out. Really. Not just the stuff they tell you in church.
People will say to you, “I’ve always known about all of this church history.” Don’t let them marginalize you. I had no idea and I was about at faithful and stalwart as they come. Ask anyone who knew me.
Always trust your gut. I know it feels scary and overwhelming and just too much. That’s okay. That is right where it needs to be. Open the door. ~Amy xo
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