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My Mormon Faith Crisis Story...

My Mormon Faith Crisis Story

Once upon a time...

I was born into a mormon family.

Mormonism was just the way of life.

All was well.

I was on the path, doing all that I was supposed to do.

Checking all the boxes.

I was living and loving it.

Shelving any and all issues that I wondered about.

Until one day those questions & doubts became too many.

I had to figure this puzzle out.

If the church was true, it would all be okay.

I finally gave myself permission to look into things.

I hungered and thirst after the truth.

The usual, "it will all work itself out" was no longer cutting it.

I read book after book after book.

I secretly joined forums and online groups.

I discovered a world of people who were wondering and searching too.

Just. Like. Me.

My shelf came crashing down.

All of it. Fast.

Now what?

I looked around at my life.

Most all of my friends and family are members.

Who do I talk to?

Who do I tell?

I just became one of those apostates you hear talked about at church.

But I am a good person.

I did nothing wrong.

I actually wanted to prove the church was true.

The realization is overwhelming.

I feel alone.

I feel different.

I wish I could take the blue pill and just go back to how it was.

Maybe ignorance is bliss?

How am I going to tell my spouse?

How am I going to tell my mom?

How am I going to tell my kids?

How am I going to tell my best friend?

That I don't believe, any of it.

I poured myself (not so secretly) into online groups and forums full of people like me,

All searching.

All trying to make this all make sense.

I get angry.

I feel betrayed.

I made ALL of my life decisions around the one true church.

I free fall for a bit.

I try to keep it it, until I can't.

I start thinking for myself.

Truly for the fist time in my life I see there are a million different ways to live life, not just one TRUE way.

I get the courage to say something.

My family and friends tell me I am wrong and that I will be back.

They don't believe me.

I feel marginalized.

I feel sad and depressed.

But, I know no matter the outcome I have to keep walking this path.

No matter what.

I may lose relationships.

I learn some relationships were conditional.

Some people walk away.

I walk away.

I know that I am finding a new way to be.

It is hard.

But I am strong.

I keep going.

I am finding my new voice.

I feel a freedom I have never felt before.

I find an inner strength I didn't know I had.

I create new friendships.

I find a way to make my new life work.

Come what may.

I've stepped into the new me and I am thankful, truly grateful for my faith crisis.

My new voice is emerging and I feel good in my own skin.

I feel like I am going to be okay better than okay.

Life is good, even if it is messy.

Amy

*not to be reproduced or used without permission by me.

Anatomy of a Faith Crisis, My Mormon ExMormon Story

You may secretly being going through you own faith crisis, dealing with all things mormon, lds, exmormon. Yeah?

Well then, this one is for you.

I hope you hear your story in my story.

I hope you know you are not alone.

I hope you how this experience you are going through is hard, but you are strong.

I hope you know that you will rise.

I hope you know that your life will be better because of what you are going through.

I hope you know that you are loved.

It would mean the world to me if you could watch this short film, click the like button, click the subscribe button and leave a comment, on my YouTube channel.

I know this is a big ask in today's social media fast past world, but I could use your help with this one.

By doing these simple things it helps my film be seen by more people. 

It has always been my goal to help others not feel so alone during their faith crisis. I know this will help.

Thank you. So. Very. Much.

With no further ado, I present...

Anatomy of a Faith Crisis. 
a story by Amy Logan and a film by James Rhodimer.

Amy xoxo