Be in the muck.
You kinda need to roll around in it and hang out there for awhile. Marinate. It is part of the process of this thing called a faith crisis.
I expect nothing less. You just had your world bust right open. Of course you are going to feel all sorts of emotions.
We have been talking about this all month.
But, one step, I do not want you to skip, is being in this uncomfortable and painful place. The muck. It is part of it.
Let the tears fall.
Hide under the covers.
Sit with it.
Laugh at the stupidity of it all.
Mourn the loss.
I promise, there will come a day when you are ready to not be in that mucky space anymore. The time will come when you are ready to stand up, dust off, and move forward.
Only you know when it is time.
In the meantime, allow all of the things I mentioned above.
This is what being gentle with yourself looks like.
Do not feel like you have to figure this out quickly. Think about how many years you were conditioned to believe this certain way. There is a good amount of unraveling that will need to be done. Let it unravel in its own time.
Then, you will rise like a phoenix. You will want to figure it out. You will want to heal. You will want to make it all make sense. You will want to move forward. You will want to do whatever it will take. You will want.
You will. I promise.
Until then, hunker down. Just be with your sadness.
And remember, you are loved. You are not alone.
Take a breath my dear, your life is just beginning.